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 Our formation somewhere over Germany |  
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        | Chapter 10 - MidTour Veteran - The Messerschmidt
        Twitch 
 The period after the aborted mission which put us down in France, on fire, until February
        15 was a very trying one. Missions were scheduled and scrubbed. After France we were at an
        emotional high pitch and would have preferred to keep flying regularly. The waiting for
        missions created tension that were difficult to handle. Letters from Doris were helpful
        but we all wanted to move on. Norris, Barclay and Sweeney received promotions to staff
        sergeant. To relieve part of the pressure an impromptu shindig at the officers club
        materialized; an account of which follows in a letter to Doris;
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          February 11, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Dear Doris,
 
 Just returned from the officers club. What a shindig our squadron dreamt up, all at the
          spur of the moment, once the beer started flowing a damn good time was had by all. The
          rules were that you couldnt put down an empty pint without picking up one that was
          full. Plenty of unique songs, more beer and good fellowship; we monopolized the club. I
          entered the spirit of things by doing a kip(swinging from the rafters). No flying
          scheduled for tomorrow so we drank the bar dry. A psychologist would have had a field day.
          Loneliness and tension were at a high point - the blowout was just a method of blowing off
          steam and trying to relax.
 
 To day was another stand down day. Got up with a hangover so after ground school I
          wrangled a 24 hour pass. Just couldnt keep still, had to keep moving intended to
          head for London but gradually the sack looked more inviting - no London. Will take a hike
          into the country tomorrow.
 
 Love
 Ray
 
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          February 12, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 My Darling,
 
 Your letters of 25, 26, 28, 29 and 30th arrived so I spent the morning with them propped
          up for a while. I still felt rocky after the blowout so despite the headache and generally
          miserable feeling, after the letters, I kicked myself mentally and got into dirty pinks
          and GI shoes and set out on my hike.
 
 The countryside here is starting to awaken again. There is a slight smell of musty hay and
          cow flop in the air. Not much sign of activity guess its still too early for spring
          planting. Off in the distance you can see the church steeples of the nearby towns. You can
          always spot the towns by these outstanding landmarks. Every town seems to have a church at
          its center. As I plodded along occasionally my thoughts would drift - to how much I wanted
          you to be there to share these scenes with me, to find a grassy spot and enjoy that twinge
          of spring together and absorb everything about us, sometimes in silence sometimes
          verbally. About 2 miles down the road an army truck offered me a lift. Didnt know
          where he was going but I hopped on anyway. He dropped me off at a town that would compare
          with Albany, Georgia. It was a quiet, sedate place. Spent a little time wandering thru the
          churchyard reading the epitaphs. Some of them were rather interesting; an occasional one
          went back to the 1700s; about on par with most everything in England. One bright
          prominently displayed poster covered a series of lectures and discussions on the life and
          thought in the USSR, taking place in town. Saw a matinee in the town theater, a movie that
          was easy to forget. Took a bus back to the town nearest my airfield, refused a lift and
          hiked back. The bus had included a group of school children. How clean and sparkling their
          faces. How old and creaky they made me feel - how envious I was of their light hearted
          gaity. They had something that weve already lost. Optimistically not lost just
          misplaced for awhile.
 
 All my love
 Ray
 
 P.S. : Not scheduled for tomorrows mission. Incidentally we heard that the first
          contingent of Negro WACs arrived in England. Naturally the discussion rotated about
          this, some of it was pretty crude. One guy mentioned that since English women had gone out
          with Negro soldiers, he wondered whether the English men would do the same with the Negro
          WACs; some jerk of a captain in Intelligence indignantly exclaimed that this meant
          retreading civilization; whatever that meant.
 
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          February 15, 1945 Chelveston, England
 
 Dearest Doris,
 
 Finally flew todays mission. It was a long haul and Im tired. My thoughts are so
          turbulent now. It was rather rough getting off this morning. We did but couple of boys
          werent as lucky. Just two plumes of smoke in the fog. We were the last off safely,
          takeoffs were canceled afterward, so we went in short handed. The mission was routine. Was
          surprised to hear who had been clobbered this morning - what a hell of a war.
 
 Im sleepy, good night hon, your love is like a protective and refreshing shower.
 
 Ray
 
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        | This particular mission was a very controversial one. It was
        the fire bombing of Dresden. There was little military or industry in this city; over a
        period of two days of day and night bombing irreplaceable medieval architecture was
        destroyed and apparently large numbers of war civilians incinerated notwithstanding the
        pinpoint bombing concept of the U.S. The mission was designed to intimidate the people and
        drive them out on the roads to clog military transport. The justification for this
        travesty was the bombing of London and Coventry and the resultant civilian losses.
        Naturally we were unaware of all of this until well after the war. |  
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          February 17, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Another mission today. In the air for seven hours and no credit for a mission. Halfway
          over we received a recall message and had to turn back, probably because of bad weather
          over the target. Before returning to our base the bombs were salvoed into the English
          channel. Landing with a full bomb load was precarious. What a pity to see all those bombs
          dropping out-wasted. Hundreds, perhaps thousands of us could live in luxury for a lifetime
          for what was dropped into the sea.
 
 Missions are coming more slowly now because of bad weather and the addition of several new
          crews so we dont fly as often.
 
 Its Saturday night, wondering what you up too?
 
 Love
 Ray
 
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        | Since this was the approximate mid point at the crews mission
        count we were offered a flak or rest leave of 10 days.The entire crew readily accepted -
        except myself. It meant civilian clothes on an English estate with great food and drink -
        but also delay in completing missions. I refused and elected to fly during this interval
        completing five missions in a row with pick up crews. As luck would have it these missions
        enabled me to complete my 35 missions and return home before VE day whereas the rest of
        the crew was held over for 6 months to participate in the photographic strategic bombing
        survey of Europe. These were flown on 22, 23,24,25 and 26 and are summarized below. |  
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 February 22, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Finally got another mission in today, still a long road to travel. This trip was rather
          unique as it was made from an extremely low altitude for a heavy bomber. We could see
          everything as plain as day. Fires were started from our bombs and down on the deck our
          fighter support were strafing ground installations. It was quite a show- however we did
          sweat because of the low altitude, requiring pinpoint navigation, and `bandits in
          the area; which fortunately were occupied elsewhere.
 
 
 
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            February 23, 1945 Chelvaston, England Another low altitude mission today. similar to yesterdays. a long haul and it was
          sweat, sweat, sweat all the way. Too close to the ground for comfort and its impossible to
          plot all the flak guns; particularly since they can be easily moved on railroad cars. On
          the way home we did get a beautiful view of the Alps. The valleys with those peaceful
          little villages seemed so out of place with the bombers thundering overhead.
 
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          February 24, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 As usual am dead tired tonight after a mission. Yes, third in a row, things are moving.
 
 We flew a hell of a mission today into the heart of southern Germany. Struck at the very
          origin of the Nazi party and really pasted it. Could see it as plan as day as well as the
          flak, lots of it. Just a few small holes in our aircraft.
 
 You asked about missions; yes we do eat concentrated foods, fudge and hard candy. Eating
          is a chore with an oxygen mask on for 5 to 6 hours and your stomach swollen because of
          reduced pressure. Incidentally, if your not shaven your face itches fiercely. I use a
          bottle to urinate in so I dont have to leave the controls, however there is a relief
          tube available in the bomb bay. If you reach enemy territory you do get mission credit.
          Theoretically you do have a ship assigned but when not flying it, others do or if it needs
          repair you fly another.
 
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          February 25, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Another mission today; fourth in a row. Came back groggy and will tumble into the sack
          after this note.
 
 
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          February 26, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Another long haul today, was supposed to rest after four in a row but I was on standby and
          one of the ships aborted so I filled in. Its been a grind but the mission count is
          mounting up and I do have a 48 hour pass tomorrow. Mulvaney and I are headed for London
          and R & R.
 
 
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        | After Doriss letter of the 19th in which she mentioned
        her wanting to shift to war work her letters express her desire frequently and forcefully. |  
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          February 20, 1945
 
 Do you know that the more I handle these darn scissors and paper the more unrelated to
          whats happening outside, this job becomes.
 
 
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          February 23, 1945
 
 Told my boss of my plans to quit Allied Display, because I feel guilty working with
          something as useless as paper sculpture. She held her head down; I wonder why? She has
          done all that talking about how - tough it was being a refugee - well Ive initiated
          some constructive action. Tomorrow I will being looking for some meaningful defense work.
 
 
 
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          February 26, 1945
 
 Spent the morning at the US Employment Agency but they didnt have anything available
          in Optics. Came home a bit discouraged.
 
 
 
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          February 27, 1945
 
 Instead of going to work today I went to the Employment Agency again and was sent to a
          plant on Hull St. Waited to be interviewed from 11.00 A.M. to 2.00 P.M. Hallahuyah, got
          the job inspecting lenses at 75 cents per hour. Even though I havent started I feel
          better already.
 
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          February 28, 1945
 
 Quit my job today, before I intended. My boss fired one of the other girls without notice
          so being riled at her for being such a bastard I decided not to give her any notice.
          Tomorrow I start being a defense worker - wish me luck.
 
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          February 26, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 A rather tame night at the club tonight closed at 10.30 P.M. so we bought a whole keg of
          beer, got a jeep and brought it back to the barrack.When it was tapped the spigot fell out
          and out gushed the beer. What a scramble for glasses until somebody put the plug back. You
          should see the floor. `Doc our flight surgeon contributed a bottle of Hiram Walkers
          to spice up the beer. After awhile the harmonizing began; Roll Me Over, `Parley
          Voux and others. Am tired after 48 hours of flying in five days. Germany was almost
          completely pasted this week. The boys are now sounding off with `Kalamoozoozoo.
 
 Morning of the 27th
 
 Fell asleep after writing the above, the keg tapping continued until 3.00 A.M. Im
          told. after I tottered off to bed. Will be leaving for London in a couple of hours -
          headache and all.
 
 Love you and miss you,
 
 Ray
 
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          February 27 and 28, 1945 London, England
 
 Sweetheart,
 
 Got into London rather late so I, Kelly and Mulvaney saw a matinee stage show, then after
          a late supper attended a dance at one of the drinking clubs. The usual number of phoneys
          and prostitutes amongst the attendees, Kelly left with some dame, not sure of the
          category. I returned to our rooms early.
 
 Took a hot bath - the first in a long time. Really hit the spot, Lie awake thinking of you
          for quite awhile before going to sleep. My thoughts would have made you blush.
 
 Awake at 10 A.M., saw an early show and then took a walk thru the East End. Was impressed
          most by a couple with their baby, tired looking, shabbily dressed, yet they represented
          the spirit and will of the English commoners to live and bring life into this precarious
          world. What courage it must take - what a powerful emotion love can be.
 
 Took an early train, back to the base. Met a shoe dealer while on the train who after
          hearing my name identified himself as a Jew and invited me to his home. Lives close to our
          base. It would be interesting to discuss the status of Jews in England. Anti-semitism
          exists here but a bit more refined or covert than in the States.
 
 Wish you wouldnt donate blood as often as you have been . Dont run yourself
          down.
 
 Been here three months now - Take care of yourself - for me
 
 Pleasant dreams
 
 Love
 Ray
 
 
 
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        | Doriss close connection with my daily life and that of
        the crew become ever tighter as time went on. Her congratulations to the crew on their
        promotions were sent on February 19 at the same time she inquired about my promotion to
        1st lieutenant. Unbeknownst to her I had been passed over twice - my relationship with the
        West Point operations officer was not the best. I was now the oldest second lieutenant by
        mission count. This situation was remedied by the intervention of the squadron commander
        at about my thirtieth mission. Normally a first pilot received his promotion at the
        midpoint of his mission tour. However there were more important considerations at this
        point such as, delivering your bomb load, surviving the unexpected and returning to the
        base. 
 Upon my return from London I slowly got back into the mission routine on March 3rd after a
        standby on the 2nd. I was spared this mission because all ships got off the ground.
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            March 3, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 Dear Fatty,
 
 You can chalk up another one darling. Gosh what a long haul - lots of flak all the way. We
          were one of five that returned to base directly. The rest had to hand elsewhere to refuel.
          We did thank our lucky stars for good fuel management and tapping our tanks after
          preflight, before taking off. More trouble for the ground crew but added insurance for us.
 
 I previously promised to describe my room. Its oblong 22 feet by 8 feet with a door in the
          center of the long side. On the opposite side are two windows (Badly in need of a
          cleaning). The short sides contain two double deckers. Mulvaney and myself occupy the left
          wall. Kelly and Jackson the right. In the center of the long wall between the two windows
          stands our food, cake and tidbit storage box. Under each window was a table scattered with
          our junk also scattered around the room are four chairs and our luggage; clothes are hung
          on a bar suspended between two rafters, one in each corner of the room, on each side of
          the doors are shelves for odds & ends. The bare walls are filled with pinup pictures
          of God knows who. Above my bed, the top bunk, are pictures of you smiling down on me. In
          the center of the room is a small cast iron coke oven which we are constantly stealing
          coke for, from the squadron supply. There it is - not much but it's home. Join us anytime
          you like. Its a typical young mens room - messed up and disorderly.
 
 Pleasant dreams - may they all come true.
 
 Love
 Ray
 
 
 
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          March 4, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Hello Babe,
 
 The stoves red hot giving up plenty of heat making us all drowsy. Tired after todays
          mission, a milk run as far as flak and fighters were concerned. Weather was our biggest
          concern but it kept the flak and fighters away in the target area, so no complaints. Had
          plenty of time to look over the countryside on the way back. We were flying low under the
          weather and could plainly see rugby players near the schools and peaceful looking suburbs
          outside of London. Probably fly again tomorrow; looks like another stretch of daily
          missions.
 
 All my love
 Ray
 
 
 
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          March 6, 1945 Chelvaston, England
 
 Hello Kid,
 
 The happenings of today seem very far away as I sit here trying to stay awake so I can
          finish this letter. For some reason the Group was stood down today so I didnt roll
          out of the sack until 11 A.M. Got stuck on a practice mission. What a laugh. Over 200
          combat hours and I'm still struck on practice missions. Well, that seems to depend on who
          you know, just as in civilian life. Didnt get down until 6 P.M. after which I
          attended a pilots meeting at which the colonel blew off steam about various insignificant
          topics.
 
 The only thing I keep looking forward to is more missions so I can get home and start
          living again. Am going to contact Lou Fish, the Jewish chap I met on the train and accept
          his invite to a Kosher meal and conversation.
 
 Love me always
 Ray
 
 P.S.: Received your letters of the 26th containing your pictures. After looking at them I
          didnt know whether to burst into tears or grin happily. Couldn't help but feel
          proud. You are as beautiful as ever (slightly chunkier). Enjoy your new job.
 
 P.P.S. A news flash over the radio; the Rhine has just been crossed, a tremendous event!
 
 
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 An unusual picture - A B-17 on fire over the target |  
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